Happy Hump Day beautiful people! I hope that you all are pushing through the work week and you’re looking forward to Friday which is right around the corner. I know that I’m only two days into the work week, but I’m for sure ready for a little r&r this weekend. Full disclosure, this post will not be the normal sunshine and rainbows type of PositiviTea post that I usually write. I have some things that are heavy on my heart, and I wanted to use this platform to share those thoughts about what has currently happened in the United States.
Have you ever known that you needed sleep, but no matter how many ways you helped yourself get that rest, you just couldn’t? I feel like I’ve been in this state for quite a while. It seems like every time I turn around from doing anything, there is another one of my black brothers or sister being killed for no reason. Breonna Taylor was gunned down in her own home by police officers claiming to serve a search warrant for narcotics. Ahmaud Arbery was shot while jogging in Georgia by two white men. And most recently, videos surfaced of George Floyd being restrained and held down by four police officers using their knees to hold him down and not allowing him to breathe, which caused his death. This was all over the course of four months. In these past four months I have screamed. I have cried. I have vented. I have tried to numb the pain with alcohol. I have prayed. I have meditated. I have HAD ENOUGH!
Quinta Brunson tweeted, “Being black is having a good day and then seeing another black person was killed for no reason. Then you have to think about/talk about that all day. Or don’t and numb yourself. It’s a constant emotional war.” I couldn’t have said it better myself. The emotional battle that black people endure and the weight that we carry every time one of us is murdered is bad enough. But then we have to experience that pain time and time again when JUSTICE IS NOT SERVED! But yet we’re still expected to live our lives as if nothing is wrong. We’re expected to not get “too” angry or we’ll be the stereotypical angry black women. We’re expected to “get over it”, when every 9/11 we’re told “never forget”. It’s too much. It’s way too much, and I’ve had enough!
I chose this quote by the late great Nelson Mandela, because he knew. He knew that we could not truly rest as long as this continues. So how do I finally get my rest? How do ignore the news, the tweets, and other social posts? This is something that happens so frequently and with little to no consequences for the actions, I’m now convinced that I will never be able to rest. I will have to stay awake or “woke” as the kids say. I will live every day like it’s my last, because as a black woman living in America, it very… well… could… be…
*This post is dedicated to all of those that have been a victim of injustice and those that are fighting every day to try and turn this world into one where people care*